Illusion (Illusion Series Book 1) Read online

  Her skin is lighter where her panties usually rest. The skin above her pubic bone has goosebumps. She suddenly stirs as her eyes flutter open. She gives me a lazy smile and I can wake up to this every day. I want to wake up to this every day.

  "Why are you staring at me?"

  I lean into her ear and answer, "Because you're fucking gorgeous."

  She giggles and it’s a sweet sound that fills the room. Her eyes darken with lust and her gaze is on me. I know what she wants, but I’m going to have fun teasing her and torturing myself.

  I begin kissing her neck as my fingertips run down her chest to her nipples. They harden instantly under my touch. I pinch them and Emma gasps out loud. I groan against her neck. The sound is so fucking perfect and arousing. I run my fingers down her stomach and over her folds lightly to create enough pressure.

  Her legs begin trembling, "Austin." She moans and there’s nothing more that can turn me on then hearing her moan my name.

  Fuck.

  She pulls me on top of her while her mouth is on my neck. Her hips rise and begin rubbing against my dick and Fuck.

  Fuck, fuck, fuck.

  I’m going to come with the contact. Her hips grind against me a few more times when I stop her by placing my hands on her hips. She whimpers. I look into her eyes heaving, "We can't Emma."

  "Why not?"

  "For starters, your dad and uncles are here. Secondly, I don't have a condom with me, and I don't know if you're on birth control. Trust me when we do fuck, I want to take my time with you. I want to show you things you haven't experienced. And I also want to fuck a lot and to do that we need you on birth control because condoms only go so far when you're constantly fucking. Oh, and just in case you are wondering I'm clean. Just thought you should know."

  She smiles, "You're right, sorry. I'll get on birth control, but why don't you carry condoms?"

  I shrug, "I stopped after I met you. I kind of knew I was done when I met you."

  I instantly feel guilty for letting the words out.

  Fuck, she’s going to freak out.

  She looks into my eyes as hers fill with tears, I feel torn seeing her this way. She surprises me by pulling me into a tight hug.

  "Emma?"

  I’m going to lay out the cards for her, my feelings. And she needs to accept what I feel no matter the fear. I know that it’s easier said than done, but I need to push her. I just hope it’s the right direction, but my phone begins to ring.

  I roll off of Emma and go to the bathroom where my phone is still inside my jeans. It’s Liam. I start changing remembering that I have a brunch date with him, Jake and Hilary. As I finish changing, I go back into the room and turn towards Emma. My gaze meets Emma's sad eyes. I know she doesn't want me to leave and I won't if she asks me to stay, but I also don't want to misread her.

  "You're leaving already?" She whispers.

  "Yes, I have a brunch with my friends that I have to get to." I watch for her reaction as my words set in.

  "Can I come with you?"

  I lift my eyebrows in surprise, I didn't expect her to say that. "Are you sure? They could be intrusive. They're going to ask you if we're dating and other intimate things."

  She grins, "I want to see more of your world. And..." She looks nervous as the next few words flow out of her, "I want to give us a try. I want you Austin. I just need to go at my pace. I'm not ready to kiss, but I still want you. Of course, if you still want me."

  "Are you fucking with me? Of course, I want you. Fuck. Emma, I’ve been waiting for you to say those words."

  I lung towards her and land on top of her over the sheets as she giggles. Happiness fills me. This woman doesn't understand what she does to me. She doesn't fully comprehend it because she’s just beginning to allow herself to feel it. I feel free and alive knowing I have her. I don't feel as broken. It's like she’s filling my pieces.

  Emma

  AFTER GIVING AUSTIN AND I the biggest shocker of our lives, we stay in bed for another half hour. He just keeps looking at me and smiling while holding me. It feels warm and homey. I didn't think I was going to have the words to tell Austin that I did want to be with him. I realize that it hurt more to be apart from him than to actually feel what I’m feeling. I still can't put a name on it, but Austin understands. We will take this one step at a time.

  When we walk into the restaurant it’s fancy all around. The tables are in a greenhouse type of room with vines covering the glass walls. It feels weird being in an expensive restaurant. I am not used to it. Liam smiles and waves towards us and Austin holds my hand on the way over. I’m becoming anxious the closer we get. I hate having to impress people. And these people are so important to Austin; they're his family.

  "Hey, guys," Austin says to the group where Liam sits and another preppy, clean-cut guy in a sweater vest sits. That must be Jake. The woman next to him that I am guessing is Hilary is dressed in an elegant way, like him with a black pencil skirt and white button up blouse and I suddenly feel out of place. But when I look over to them, they all give me such a warm welcoming smile.

  It's so weird to me how different Austin is from them. He always wears jeans and a t-shirt and a leather jacket when it's cold out. I've never seen him dressed up like his friends, but I like him this way. The most I've seen him wear is a polo t-shirt and it's once in a blue moon.

  "This is Emma."

  They all say hi in unison and look at me like I'm a science project. I feel a bit uncomfortable. I smile nervously in return not really knowing if I'll be able to speak. We sit down and Austin puts his hand on my thigh and runs his thumb in circles for comfort. I meet his eyes and smile, and he reflects my smile. It makes me happy that he knows I'm uncomfortable and he's trying so hard to ease my anxiety.

  "So, Emma, you and Austin?" Liam asks with a smirk.

  "Damn fucker you can't even wait five minutes," Austin answers with a glare.

  "What? I'm just asking because she was with Kyle at the pizza place not too long ago and now, here she is." Liam's sarcasm is evident, and I have this itching feeling of running out of here. It makes it seem like he's implying something. Liam's welcoming gaze and smile falter into a frown. He continues to stare at me like he's trying to figure me out.

  I sense Austin nudge him under the table and his eyes flicker over to Austin's and they have an unspoken conversation. After a minute of intense glaring, I start to feel like I shouldn't have offered to come at all. Maybe Liam was okay meeting me until he saw me with Kyle. What if he thinks I'm dating both of them? Or is it because I came uninvited?

  I’m not sure, but my nerves are getting the best of me. Finally, Liam looks away towards the window and into the traffic that is whirling around us within the city. He leans back into his chair like he had lost the battle he was having with Austin.

  I can feel the atmosphere stiffen around us and Austin's grip on my thigh tighten as irritation radiates from him. The waitress comes over to take our drink orders. I just order my black coffee and Austin orders the same thing. Jake claps his hands as he speaks, "Okay, well now that everyone is here, we need to talk wedding planning."

  I look over at Austin raising my eyebrow questioning.

  He speaks softly, "Jake and Hilary are getting married."

  "You're such a fucking girl, Jake. Isn't that Hilary's job?" Liam speaks suddenly.

  "Listen sexist jackass it's both of our jobs if he wants to marry me. And of course, if he wants to continue getting laid." Hilary answers Liam with a glare.

  Everyone chuckles, but me. Their humor is odd to me; I’m not one to socialize. I’m always alone, never much of a people person. And Austin and his friends are older than me. I kind of feel so grown up at this moment. What I always thought it would feel like when you are older with friends joking about weddings and jobs and life. I never thought I would ever have that because I’m such a loner.

  My attention is brought back when Hilary asks, "Emma you're coming to the wedding right?" I’m taken back by
her question. She speaks to me like I’m her friend or has been dating her best friend for years and it would be absurd that I wouldn't come. I feel so uncomfortable.

  This is why I don't date. Well, one of the reasons. This all crosses my mind. I take a breath and my eyes meet Austin’s to find encouragement, and that’s all I find.

  My voice comes out shaky as I speak, "Uh yeah. If Austin wants me there. When is it?" I’m glad I asked that question because everyone's attention shifts to Jake as he answers, "Actually about that. We decided on Valentine’s Day."

  Austin and Liam make a face of disgust in unison.

  All I can think is, how original. Love is so great why not have your wedding on the day that was made for love. Blah, blah, blah. What if you get divorced? Valentines won't be the day of love anymore, just a reminder of what you lost. And ruin any further celebration in the future. This is the reason you don't do this.

  Liam groans, "What the actual fuck? No way. Change the date. Right now, or I'm boycotting your wedding."

  Hilary rolls her eyes and Austin nods in agreement as I sit there dumbfound that they feel the same way I do. Jake points his finger at Liam like he’s reprimanding a small child, "First you're a pain in my ass and second it's not your wedding, you ass."

  "Sorry Jake, Hil I totally agree. A Valentine's wedding? A wedding on Valentines' day. Yeah no." Austin shakes his head as he speaks.

  Jake rolls his eyes, "You are a bunch of morons. Hilary and I started dating on Valentine's day."

  Austin and Liam gag at the same time and a small smile appears on my face to see how they interact with each other. This is what friendship looks like. It's interesting and wholeheartedly to watch.

  Austin smirks towards Jake and asks, "Since we're going to have to suffer through a Valentine's wedding, where is it taking place?"

  "New York, we're flying everyone in," Hilary answers for Jake.

  Austin turns his body towards me smirking. His eyes gentle and warm, "Would you like to go to New York with me?" I'm overwhelmed with emotion that all I can do is grin from ear to ear and nod. It feels so damn good to have him by my side.

  Our moment is cut short when Liam asks, "Back to my previous question what's your deal with Kyle, Emma?"

  "Fucking drop it, Liam." Austin growls at him.

  I feel sick to my stomach. It tightens and twists. Why do they hate Kyle so much? This time I answer him because Liam is starting to agitate me. "He's my friend. Why?"

  "Mhm. You should ask your friend why we hate him so much."

  "Liam," Austin's voice drips with stern coldness and I flinch slightly at the tone he uses.

  Hilary tries to interject when she changes the subject to a calmer territory, "So Emma what do you do?"

  "Oh. Uh..." The words become stuck in my throat I'm not sure if they know my age. Would that embarrass Austin? Well, I hope not because I shouldn't hide anything. Our age hasn't been a problem so I shouldn't begin to make it one now. "I'm a freshman in college, I want to major in English to become a teacher."

  Without a single blink, she proves to me that she wasn't taken back about our age gap, I'm guessing Austin warned them. "That's pretty awesome. We all were English majors. It's funny because we all work in the same field but do different things. Jake and I work in the business side of Journalism and Liam is an editor and Austin is an author. We all majored in the same subject." I'm too taken back by her words that I don't even reply. I can't believe I didn't even know Austin was an author.

  I shift my gaze towards Austin and ask, "Author?"

  "Yeah. I guess I've never really mentioned it."

  "Yeah, you don't mention a lot of things."

  The words hit the air before I even have the chance of thinking them through. Austin's eyebrows shoot up as if to say, I can't believe you said that out loud in front of people.

  "Oh no. Trouble in paradise," Liam says with sarcasm.

  I stand up and start making my way to the car because that's all I can think to do. I'm not going to sit around and be taunted by Liam for whatever known reason he doesn't like me. And humiliate me by the fact that I truly don't know who Austin is. I hear Austin say behind me, "Liam why are you being such a dick?" I don't stand around to hear his response. I make my way and linger on the outside of the doors for Austin.

  Maybe this is a mistake. Coming here was a mistake, being with him is a mistake.

  I don't like this longing feeling of not knowing the person I share my heart with. Will I ever truly know him? Or will I fill the voids as we go through this journey called life? What if I don't like the whole picture at the end of this journey? What if the holes I'm filling are hollow with characteristics that won't ever fulfill me? Why does love make you feel like you're going into a war blindfolded?

  Austin

  Emma and I sit in silence outside of her house, neither one of us have said a word throughout the ride. It's funny how fast things can change, on the way over we were holding hands, cracking jokes, filled with joy. On the ride back we're silent and distant. I haven't even attempted to touch her. It's not that I don't want to, but I just don't know what explanation to give her as to why Liam was being a total jackass. I know why he was acting that way. I know he thinks Emma is not serious about us. I myself still have the same doubts. I don't feel like I truly trust that she won't run off at the first sight of trouble.

  For instance, this morning she just walked out. In a way I understand her, I get it, but at the same time, it's hard to not let my mind seep into the fact that she can walk out on me. And I'm not sure I can handle that. Liam is also being tough on her because of seeing her with Kyle and I get that too. It makes my blood boil at the thought of them hanging out, which I haven't even asked her about yet either. Maybe Liam's reaction is normal because I haven't questioned anything that has happened. I’m just happy enough to have her, but that shouldn't be enough.

  I look over to Emma who's just sitting there staring into space, probably thinking us being together is a mistake. I reach over to place my hand on her thigh and her eyes flicker to my hand and she just stares at it blankly. "Are you okay?"

  She takes a few minutes to answer me, "What was that about?"

  "What was?"

  "Why was he being a dick to me?"

  "Emma, he's just being protective over me."

  She lets out a frustrated sigh, "Don't even dare try to excuse him because that was messed up. First implying things about me and Kyle and then you. Also, the fact that he found funny to joke about the fact that I don't even know what you do for a living."

  I stare at her blankly to read all her emotions which are anger, and exhaustion. "Listen, Emma, my job has never come up that's why you didn't know. And about the assumptions of Kyle, I have the same ones."

  She looks at me in disbelief, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

  "What do you and Kyle have going on?"

  "Nothing! He's just my friend. That is all."

  "Why were you with him in the middle of the night?"

  "Because I was out with friends and Lauren was going to bring Jake—" I cut her off before she gets the chance to finish—"Oh and you didn't want to be a third wheel, so you brought Kyle. Come on Emma it looked like you guys were going on a double date."

  Emma meets my gaze and glares at me before answering to make sure I get that she's pissed, but so am I. "Listen Austin, I'm not going to sit here and explain myself to you. If I tell you that Kyle and I are just friends, you have to believe me."

  "Bullshit, Emma!"

  "You know what let me remind you that we were not together at the time, so you can't question who I was hanging out with."

  "Well now that we are together, you're not going to talk to him again." Fuck, Emma makes me want to pull out my hair. She's so stubborn.

  "No."

  I blink a couple of times to let her answer register because I can't believe she really is still going to defy me even though I feel the way I do. "No?"

  "Yes, no. Firs
t, you don't tell me what to do. Second Kyle is good to me." I feel my face burning in hot anger. She’s pissing me off. What's so fucking great about Kyle? She doesn't even know the whole truth, but that’s a truth I will never be willing to tell. "What's your deal with Kyle anyway?"

  "That's my business," I respond through gritted teeth. Emma lets out a frustrated sigh and opens the car door to get out. She slams the door hard and I don't attempt to stop her. I'm fucking mad and I'm sitting here with memories as to why my hatred for Kyle is so great.

  ∞∞∞

  I’m laying on my hotel room bed waiting for Liam to get here so I can tell him off. I’m angry and his stupidity caused Emma and I to fight. Well, technically it’s my feelings towards Kyle, but still. As soon as I hear the suite door shut, I get up. I'm greeted by Liam coming in on his own, which I'm rather happy about because that means I can really figure out what's going on. I cut straight to the chase, "What the fuck was that at the restaurant?"

  "AJ, I just needed to know what her intentions are. What the fuck are you even doing with her?"

  "What is your problem? You were fine meeting her the other night."

  "That’s before I realized that Kyle was hanging out with her or have you forgotten?"

  "No. I haven’t forgotten, but that doesn't mean you have to treat her like that. She's already having trouble as it is coping with our relationship. You don't have to go and make it more difficult for her."

  He rolls his eyes very dramatically before answering, "Fuck AJ. She shouldn't have to cope with your relationship. She should want to be in this relationship."

  "You have no idea what she's been through."

  Liam looks at me perplexed, "Does she have any idea of what you've been through?"