Illusion (Illusion Series Book 1) Read online

  Illusion

  Karla Lopez

  Copy Right © 2020 by Karla Lopez. All rights reserved.

  No portion of this book, except for brief review, may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise—without the written consent and permission of the publisher.

  This is a work of fiction. Characters, names, dialogues, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, whether living or dead, businesses, locales, or events other than those specifically cited are unintentional and purely coincidental or are used for the purpose of illustration only.

  The publisher and author assume no responsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretation of the subject matter herein. The author and publisher assume no responsibility or liability whatsoever on the behalf of any purchaser or reader of these materials. The publisher and author do not have any control over and do not assume any responsibility for third party websites or their content.

  First edition.

  Editing: Katie L. Tyler

  Cover: Karla Lopez

  WARNING:

  Contains mature content, adult language, graphic sexual content, emotional triggers. Read at your own risk.

  To all the beautiful broken souls who have been told they are not enough to love,

  You are.

  Karla Lopez is an independent writer and romance lover. She’s debuting her first novel Illusion. She’s currently living in Maryland as a college student who loves to write on her downtime. She’s studying to be an ultrasound technician. Her roots reside in New Mexico and most of her stories are inspired by small towns. She has been writing since a very young age. The amount of love she has for the art is indescribable. She writes words to hope one day reach another soul. For them to find comfort in the characters she creates and find an escape in the worlds she gives life from her head. She loves music, much of the feelings she gets from lyrics are her inspiration to write her own words. Her novels will be New Adult and contemporary romance. She’s a lover of this genre herself and shares her love for reading within pictures in the bookstagram community. When she’s not writing she’s reading or spending time with family and friends.

  Theme Song: Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish

  To Build a Home by The Cinematic Orchestra

  Poison & Wine by Civil Wars

  Swim Good by Dermot Kennedy

  Paradise by Cold Play

  Too Good by Troye Sivan

  In my Veins by Andrew Belle

  Easy by Camila Cabello

  Be Still by The Fray

  Prayed for you by Matt Stell

  The Corner by Dermot Kennedy

  Rule by X Ambassadors

  I’ll be there by Jack Vallier

  Infinity by Jaymes Young

  Hate Myself by NF

  For the First Time by The Script

  Girlfriend by Bea Miller

  Sad beautiful Tragic by Taylor Swift

  Contents

  Prologue: Emma

  1. Emma

  2. Emma

  3. Emma

  4. Austin

  5. Emma

  6. Austin

  7. Emma

  8. Emma

  9. Emma

  10. Austin

  11. Emma

  12. Emma

  13. Austin

  14. Emma

  15. Austin

  16. Emma

  17. Emma

  18. Emma

  19. Austin

  20. Austin

  21. Emma

  22. Austin

  23. Austin

  24. Emma

  25. Emma

  26. Emma

  27. Emma

  28. Austin

  29. Austin

  30. Emma

  31. Kyle

  32. Austin

  33. Kyle

  34. Emma

  35. Kyle

  36. Emma

  37. Emma

  38. Emma

  39. Liam

  40. Emma

  41. Emma

  Emma

  Every time he touches me it's fresh air. It's the sip of water you get when you wake up thirsty in the middle of the night. He fills my world with color, but just as easily takes it away. He holds so many secrets, so many lies, but when they come out his mouth, they sound like truths, but they are only sweet betrayals. I trusted him to love me, but I didn’t trust him to keep me. After all I was just sweet karma to him and he's everything to me. We're not the same, we might see pain and love the same, but him and I can't touch each other without causing destruction.

  I WANT TO GET UP, but I can't. The cold concrete is the only feeling surrounding me and it’s like I'm outside my body. I can't feel anything. I can vaguely hear screaming at a distance, my vision becoming blurrier every time I blink. I turn my head in hope to see of what just hit me. I want to scream—there he is—laying on the ground. He's lying on his stomach and I try to focus my eyes on his face to see if he's awake. I can't see his eyes nor make out his face, it's all bloody. It's him, God please don't let it be him. He looks so peaceful. I want to get a hold of him, but I can't move. I need to hear his heartbeat. I stare forcefully as my eyes begin to doze off.

  "What happened?" A distinct voice says. I think it's my dad, how much I needed to hear his voice. Okay, Emma, you're not dead, I repeat to myself.

  "What are you going to tell her?" I hear my uncle say with fear in his voice. Tell me what?

  "D-dad," I blurt out not knowing if I’m really going to have the voice to say something. I look around to see the bright fluorescent lights bouncing off the walls, I’m in a hospital. My roaming eyes meet my dad’s and my two uncles turn and look at me with a pained stare. I know it before any of them say anything. We sit in silence in fear of hearing those words and the fear of actually having to say them. My body aches, and it isn’t because of the accident. "He...he didn't make it, baby." My dad allows himself to say. The words burning me as they hit my skin. My lungs contract, trying to cave into each other. My chest burns, I start to heave as my body begins to shake violently. My body is reacting before my mind can catch up.

  "Dad. Dad." I whimper at him hoping that my begging will somehow help my heart heal. Dizziness overtakes my eyesight and my eyes roll back as my head hits the pillow.

  When I open my eyes again my Uncle Jessie is sitting beside me on the bed. He's glaring intensely, his eyes puffy from crying. I know that a lot of that crying is from the fear of what’s next. "Hey," He whispers. I stare at him with pain in my eyes feeling the stiffness in them. He cups my cheek; his warmth seeping through my skin. The warmth I needed to feel, no words needed as tears run down my cheeks.

  ∞∞∞

  Ten days have past, and I haven’t said one word. It's not that I don't want to talk, it's like I can't. I don't really know what to say. My dad and uncles have been taking care of me; changing me, feeding me, bathing me, helping with therapy. Today I get to go home. What is home? He was my home, now I'm homeless. I want to see him, for him to hold me. The thought that he'll never be able to do that again frightens me.

  I'm sitting on the edge of the hospital bed waiting to be discharged when my uncle Jessie walks into my room. He gives me a sympathetic smile and sits next to me. "It'll hurt forever you know?" He blurts out like nothing. I turn my head and watch him from the corner of my eye as he continues. "You'll never love anyone else the same..." I don't want to love anyone else.

  "...You'll have to live with it, but you're strong. There's going to be days that you're not going to feel strong and that's okay. What happened to the
both of you is not okay, it was tragic, but there's a reason why you're still here. You saved my life when you were born, Emma. I was an asshole who was a drunk because the girl he loved broke his heart when she told him that she was pregnant, and it wasn't his. You being born gave me a reason to keep fighting. Find your reason because he can't be it anymore. It's okay to choose you and let me tell you that you're a good reason."

  His words warm my heart, he's right, but I want to scream, run, cry, fight someone. I feel so angry and torn. "I want to go to his grave," I say softly. He turns his head in utter surprise for my response and nods with a sad smile. I feel relieved that in some weird way I get to feel him again.

  ∞∞∞

  My uncle Jessie sits me on the cold grass with a blanket over my shoulders and walks away. My little family is good to me. They all say I saved them in some way. I don't think I'm that special, but in their eyes I'm everything and that brings some type of comfort to me. As I sit next to the dirt that has been freshly dug up, I run my fingers through it. To think that his body lays underneath baffles me.

  No tombstone yet.

  I can't do this.

  Only over a week ago we were lying in bed together and now he lies here, without me, alone.

  "I love you," I whisper softly as I catch a tear with my lip.

  Emma

  I STARE AT MY reflection in the mirror to look at my outfit. I woke up energized and ready to take on the day. I'm wearing jeans with a yellow blouse and a pale brown cardigan with my long brown boots. You'd think with the start of the semester there would still be a hint of summer in the air but fall came early here in Colorado. I don't mind. Fall is the season that fills my soul with books and coffee. The nerves and excitement hit me knowing that I’m officially a college student. After working hard for as long as I can remember I can finally work towards the career I’ve always wanted.

  I'm currently reading The Great Gatsby for the hundredth time since I first read it as a junior in high school. The irony of the story fills me with wonder if love is that deceiving. Reading is my life. One of the many reasons why I’m an English major and the idea that people who are literature majors have to be hopeless romantics seems to not be my case.

  I am the opposite. I guess that I have my family to blame for it. I live with three grown men that can't commit to one relationship. My dad has never dated anyone since my mom died when I was nine, my uncle Jessie doesn't commit to relationships since his high school sweetheart told him she was pregnant with another guy's baby and lastly, my uncle Jamie is divorced. I never met his wife. I'm guessing that it was before my time.

  When I get to my first class I am the first one here, not even the professor has shown up. I like to be on time for things especially school. My education has always been important to me. Mainly because it’s an easy excuse as to why I am such a loner. I never really had friends. I was always that kid in the playground reading on the swings. I always felt too smart for other kids and being a know-it-all was not the first interest that kids find in friends. I’m okay with not having friends because my Uncle Jessie has always been my best friend.

  My first class is intro to literacy studies and I already know that this class will be my favorite out of my whole schedule. The syllabus shows that we’ll be reading many romance literatures and we’ll be focusing on the realism behind the love interest. My favorite thing to do is break a part love stories and judge them. It’s interesting to see how stories involve the concept of love and the way the characters view it.

  I feel like everyone believes a different meaning, not one person has the same opinion about it. In my case I don’t believe it truly exist. I do think you can love someone. I do love my dad and uncles, but I don’t think you can truly fall in love with someone. I feel like the falling is a myth. You just stay with who complements you the most and eventually you grow out of it.

  After attending all my classes, I’m very excited for the rest of the semester. I stop at my favorite coffee shop Kairos Coffee House. I found it after I came to visit the university for the first time. I loved it as soon as I saw the inside of it and how the dark wood just screamed literature vibes. I love places that don't feel modern, especially when it comes to coffee shops. I hate Starbucks, I feel like they try too much. Some are cute and classic, others modern and it just throws me off. Plus, I just like classic black coffee.

  I sit at the coffee shop organizing my planner according to my classes and filling in all the due dates. Looking at my calendar it seems that being a full-time student and taking five courses is going to be a stressful semester. Placing my headache of a planner and textbooks into my bag, I pull out my Gatsby for a read.

  "Wow, that's an oldie. Impressive." A deep clean voice says behind me. As I turn, I notice a very handsome guy with green eyes, glasses and a beanie placed on top of what seems like very short blond hair. Wow. He's gorgeous. He smiles at me patiently waiting for me to respond.

  "You mean a novel that is almost one hundred years old is considered an oldie?" I answer with a smirk. He lifts his eyebrow at my response.

  "I'm guessing you must be an English major."

  "What makes you think that?"

  "Well the oldie you're holding is a dead giveaway. You also don't look too young to be in high school and that was the last time I read that." He points at the book I’m holding without his eyes leaving mine.

  "What if I like to read? What if I love the classics?" I challenge him.

  "Touché, but people our age don’t usually read classics. They tend to be more modern.”

  "Like what?" I love the way I can protest what he’s saying, but I’m more impressed that he has a response for everything. Like he knows what I’m going to say before I actually say it.

  “Well what genre do you like?"

  His mouth gives the most sensual smirk I have ever seen. I look at his lips, they are puffy and red from where he keeps licking them unconsciously, "I like romance."

  He lifts his eyebrow and sips his coffee pondering my response, “A hopeless romantic?”

  “Nope. An English major. I love criticizing love stories.”

  He smiles as if my response doesn’t surprise him, "What’s your name?"

  "Not what I was expecting, but I’m Emma," I answer with a sincere smile.

  "Mhm Emma. I’m Kyle." His intense stare is flaring up my hormones. His eyes are emerald, clear, the specks within them are yellow. Eyes captivate me about people, they give more away then the person lets out. Kyle’s are clear, aware, warm tone. He’s happy, he is content. Somehow knowing that makes me smile.

  "Kyle," I repeat his name with a small smile. His name leaves my lips with a familiarity like it was easy and comfortable.

  “I give you credit for wanting to be an English major. I love to read too, but I couldn’t spend my career decoding and taking apart or help creating stories.” His green eyes are light showing that he is content with the conversation. His eyes are welcoming and warm and it makes me want to talk to him more.

  “Well it really depends what you plan to do within the major.”

  “What do you plan to do?”

  “You ask a lot of personal questions?” I tilt my head in his direction watching his reaction, but his smile only deepened.

  “Just when it involves pretty brunettes.” His eyes glow with delight at his response. He gives everything away with his eyes.

  I smile, “I guess that’s fair. I want to be an English teacher.”

  “Wow, that’s amazing. Not a lot of people have the patience’s for it, so I appraise you.”

  I chuckle, “Yeah, welp I love English and kids so I thought it would be a great combination.

  “I couldn’t agree more.”

  Kyle and I talk more about my career choice before I excuse myself because I have to head over to work. Kyle gives me his number, a nice surprise than what I’m used to. No other guy has ever been interested in me especially no one as hot as Kyle. All the way to my job all I can thin
k about is Kyle and how he can be an easy distraction with no strings attached.

  I walk into work and see Adam playing with blocks on the ground while he babbles about whatever it is his small brain can develop. I smile towards him and he returns a cheesy toothless grin back. He’s the prettiest baby I’ve ever babysat. His milky white skin with big round light green eyes and blond hair on top of his head makes him look like a doll. He’s also the happiest baby I’ve ever babysat for. He doesn’t cry often unless he needs something. I enjoy his company more than I do some people.

  “Hey Kiddo,” I say as I run my finger through his fair hair. He reaches forward towards me to pick him up. I pick him up as Mr. Anderson walks into the living room.

  “Oh hey, great, you’re here.” Adam squeals towards his dad. Mr. Anderson beams at him and takes him from my arms. I adore the relationship between them especially since it’s just the two of them. Adam’s mom decided she didn’t want to be a mom and walked out on them. I will never understand how some people choose to have a baby then just change their mind.

  Mr. Anderson has done an amazing job raising his nine-month-old little boy. He hired me right after Adam was three months and his mom left. Seeing him grow has been awesome, but my heart tugs that he will never have that relationship with his mother. Even if in the future they amend things he’ll still wonder why he wasn’t enough. He’ll be screwed up for the rest of his life.

  “You seriously the best for coming tonight.” I mainly babysit Adam throughout the day considering he works as an architect from nine to five. He calls me over a few times a month during the evening, never specific on what he does, but I’m sure it’s cause he’s dating someone. Considering how hard he works for the both of them, he deserves it.

  “Of course. I don’t mind.”

  “Okay, well thank you again. There’s money on the counter for you to order a pizza or something. The emergency numbers are where they always are.”